Ask the Eggheads

Now that it's all over, and the programme has been broadcast, and everyone knows the result, I can talk a little about my experiences with the Alliance of Literary Societies on Eggheads, the popular BBC2 quiz show. In case you missed it, the programme was broadcast on 22nd March and is available on iPlayer at the time of writing. Failing that, you can expect it to be repeated in a year or so.

Not all TV quiz shows work the same way. One obvious difference is that some (like University Challenge, Mastermind and Pointless) have a studio audience, but others don’t. Eggheads is one of the latter.  Our reserve (David McNaught from the Wyndham Lewis Society) had the viewing area to himself.  Most BBC programmes are not made by the BBC in any case. Eggheads is made by 12 Yard Productions at the BBC Studios in Glasgow. It’s expensive to make a programme as you have to pay the contestants’ travel expenses, but I can assure you that there were no frills attached in our case. We were given some sandwiches when we arrived at the studio, and on the basis of that we were not allowed anything towards an evening meal or even a drink. The Eggheads themselves go to Glasgow for a fortnight at a time and record four or five shows a day, although they do at least work in relays. They all seemed really nice people, but we did not get to talk to them for more than a few seconds.

If you haven't watched the programme, you may not be aware of the format. I won't go into it in detail, but I will mention that the questions are arranged in categories and the teams have no idea which categories are going to come up, so it is difficult to allocate individuals to subjects in advance. All of us were prepared to do "Arts and Books" - which, fortunately, did come up and was efficiently dealt with by Robin Healey of the Charles Lamb Society. On the other hand, no one really wanted Science, so I ended up with that on the grounds that my job title includes the word "engineer".

The first two questions were straightforward; the third I like to describe as impossible, though actually I might have guessed it if I had thought long and hard enough. There is no excuse for this as there is no time limit on answering. I could have taken an hour to think about it and they would just have cut it out of the programme. But my feeling at the time was that I would not be able to make even an educated guess, as the fact that “ornis” is Greek for “bird” had completely slipped out of my head and would probably not have returned even if I had taken an hour. Lisa, the Egghead against whom I was competing, made me feel better afterwards by saying she would also have guessed wrong, and Kevin Ashman - generally considered the greatest quizzer in the UK at the present time - did not know the answer either. So I got plenty of sympathy from those of my acquaintances who saw the programme.

The other members of the team were Alliance of Literary Societies Chair Linda Curry, Mike McGarry of the Malcolm Saville Society and Phil Jones of the Dr Johnson Society.  Mike and Robin won their individual head-to-head battles with the Eggheads, while Phil and I lost ours and had to sit out the final in the notorious “question room”, where you can only hear Jeremy Vine’s voice, not the discussions of your fellow team members. I had envisaged that the question room would be a little soundproofed booth, but in fact it is just another studio, a long way from the other one. The Egghead against whom you are competing is sitting just a few feet away.

Linda, Mike and Robin made a brave effort in the final round but an unlucky guess resulted in them losing 3-2. In the final analysis, we all felt that we had put up a good fight and had not disgraced the good name of the ALS. I would like to think that you all felt likewise.